The Church Newsletter

Area Pastor Can’t Find Plaid Shirt, Loses Ability To Put Sentences Together

SEATTLE- After what many church-goers are calling the worst sermon they’ve ever heard, Seattle Pastor Mark Smith is dodging any responsibility and blaming his wife. “I don’t know what happened,” said Smith, throwing his hands in the air. “I woke up this morning…and, my plaid shirt, it wasn’t in its usual spot, next to my Bible.” After hours of searching, the entire Smith family was unable to locate the shirt. Smith suspects his wife played a part in the disappearance, saying “She does the laundry,” before comparing her to the woman who cut off Samson’s hair. “I can’t preach without that shirt, it’s like my Samson hair, she knows that.” “She cut off my Samson hair.” When reached for comment, Smith’s wife stared straight ahead with no expression, and said nothing. Smith plans to dedicate an entire day to finding a new shirt, but isn’t confident he’ll find one so “rugged” or with “two pockets, like the old one.”

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Categories: The Church Newsletter

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