Perhaps It’s Time To Stop Taking Things From Liam Neeson

With the release of “Taken 2” barreling down upon us (can you believe it’s already here?!), there’s one question that I believe we all need to ask ourselves: Why do we feel the need to keep taking things from Liam Neeson? The man is a giant, he once trained Batman, and from what I’ve seen from the first movie, I’m pretty sure he has his concealed carry permit. Of all the men anywhere, this is not the one you want to steal things from.

But apparently this memo hasn’t made its way to Istanbul (where “Taken 2” takes place), and this time they decide to just take everyone in the whole family. I’m guessing this isn’t going to work out well for the kidnappers. And somehow, after killing 37 people, Liam Neeson will casually board a 747 back to the states with his family in-tact.

I realize it’s too early to judge the movie, but what concerns me is the pattern I see developing. And it got me thinking about something; if “Taken 2” makes a bunch of money, will they make a “Taken 3”? And if that one is a hit, do they make a 4th? A 5th, even? One would think that at some point there won’t be anything left to take from Liam Neeson.

Mostly because I have too much on my hands, I’m going to assume that each time they make a new “Taken” movie it will be wildly successful, and the crazed movie goers pounding their fists in anticipation will force them to keep making new ones. Because of the demand, they’ll need to come up with things to continue stealing from Liam Neeson; things that are important to him. I have some suggestions:

“Taken 3: Man’s best friend”

Tagline: First they took his daughter, then they took his daughter again, and then his wife, and now…they’ve taken his golden retriever, Reggie.

Plot: While on vacation with his pup, just the two of them, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills loses his companion. Or has someone taken him? Either way, people are going to die.

“Taken 4: Overdraft protection”

Tagline: First they took his daughter, then they took his daughter and his wife, and then his dog Reggie, and now…they’ve taken his debit card.

Plot: After using it at a sandwich shop in Buenos Aires, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills can’t find his debit card anywhere. He suspects various men with beards took it, and begins shooting at them repeatedly.

“Taken 5: Short sale”

Tagline: First they took his daughter, then they took his daughter and his wife, then his dog Reggie went missing, and then he couldn’t find his debit card, and now…they’re working with banks to take his house.

Plot: When an eviction notice arrives at retired CIA operative Bryan Mills’ doorstep, he’s confused. After confirming that he’s never missed a mortgage payment, he flies to Europe with several guns.

 

Like I said, I have too much time on my hands. What else can we take from retired CIA operative Bryan Mills? Any plot ideas?

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One Comment on “Perhaps It’s Time To Stop Taking Things From Liam Neeson”

  1. Casey Cariker
    October 5, 2012 at 9:53 am #

    Very nice! Bet u still watch it.. 😉 Casey

    Sent from my iPhone

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