2014 NBA Dunk Contest: Yes We Can

If you’re anything like me, you like dunks.

Slam dunks.

If you’re anything like me, you enjoy watching the world’s greatest athletes soar through the air with the greatest of ease, hurl the ball through the hoop with the force of a thousand men, and then shout various obscenities at the camera.

If you’re anything like me, you’re huddled around the TV on All-Star Saturday night not to (only) see Phillip Phillips sing that one song that everyone likes, but to see the biggest names in basketball put it all on the line for dunks.

Slam dunks.

And if you’re anything like me, you were disappointed Saturday night.

It’s time to face it – the dunk contest is dying dead.

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It’s over, now overshadowed by imposters like the 3-point shooting contest, and that one event where they all just dribble through cones. What happened, dunk contest? Where did you go? Don’t you remember the 80’s? The 90’s? Even the early 2000’s? You’ve changed.

I grew up in a world where only the best competed. They even looked like they enjoyed, took it seriously, and were genuinely upset if things didn’t go their way. My children are growing up in a world where the 12th man on the (insert any other team) Utah Jazz repeatedly misses the same dunk and is given a MINIMUM score by default. Huh?

Athletes today are bigger, stronger, and faster than ever. They jump higher and shout more obscenities than ever. So why do dunk contests from 20 years ago still outshine what we’re seeing now? How can this be?

I’ll tell you how this be – because we’ve never heard of any of these guys. We’ve never seen them on Kia commercials, never laughed at their televised decisions, never seen even one of them wearing a superman cape. They don’t even wear the black-framed nerd glasses.

It’s time for a change.

It’s time for the stars to come back out. It’s time to eliminate the MINIMUM score. It’s time for better dunks.

Slam dunks.

They say we can’t, I say YES WE CAN.

I’m looking at you, Lebron, Dwight, Blake, Russell and Kevin.

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2 Comments on “2014 NBA Dunk Contest: Yes We Can”

  1. Joel
    February 18, 2013 at 10:32 am #

    You could always just watch Space Jam.

  2. May 9, 2013 at 4:03 am #

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