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Minister Spices Up Announcements With Joke About Parking Lot Traffic

LITTLE ROCK- Sensing an ever decreasing interest in announcements, Pastor Joe Kennedy decided to “shake things up” on Sunday with a witty remark about the church’s traffic problems. “Everyone thought it was hilarious”, said Kennedy, who hadn’t even planned the joke beforehand. “It just kind of happened, really…something moved inside of me, maybe the Holy […]

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Desperate Programming Team Changes ‘Adele’ Lyrics To ‘Rolling In God’s Word’

TULSA- Strung out on Cool Ranch Doritos and desperate to incorporate an ‘Adele’ song into a service, a local programming team has decided to “shift around” some lyrics to “make it work”. Members of the team say they know the move is controversial, but all agree that they can’t keep using that one Carrie Underwood […]

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The Church Newsletter

Area Pastor Can’t Find Plaid Shirt, Loses Ability To Put Sentences Together SEATTLE- After what many church-goers are calling the worst sermon they’ve ever heard, Seattle Pastor Mark Smith is dodging any responsibility and blaming his wife. “I don’t know what happened,” said Smith, throwing his hands in the air. “I woke up this morning…and, […]

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